OnTheRoad

Coming to the close of my time in Vietnam, and I'm in two minds about the whole experience. One the one hand, Vietnam is largely great. On the other hand, the Vietnamese largely aren't.

Basically, what pisses me off about this place is that they think all foreigners are incredibly rich, so overcharging as much as you can is fine. In fact, to most, it's better than fine, it's actually a respectable thing to do. Some might say, in their defence, they are a lot more poor than us. Skipping the fact that I have a negative financial position (damn student loan), other people nearby, such as those in Laos and Cambodia, are nowhere near as bad at trying to overcharge for everything, all the fucking time. Try to by noodle soup, bus tickets, bread rolls, moto rides, anything, they'll try to scam you almost all of the time. Which means you end up analysing everything that anyone tells you, trying to figure out their angle, even if it isn't about money. I'm worn down after six weeks of this shite.

I'd go into concrete examples over the last couple of days, but it'd probably take too long. Hell, I'll do it anyway. I'm at Lao Cai train station (the nearest one to Sapa) about to head back to Hanoi. I want some water for the trip. Water, everywhere in Vietnam, costs 5000d for 1.5 litres. North to south, standard price. I go to the first place - 9000. No, 5000, says I. No dice. Next places drops to 7000. Next place, 10000. Next place 8000. Finally, 5000. But the others were willing to forego any profit rather than fail to rip off a foreigner.

Anyway, I jump on the train, arrive Hanoi around half past four in the morning. I met a couple of guys, Steven and Connor, on the train, and we go to grab a coffee. The price of coffee is also reasonably well fixed in Vietnam, if you're buying from a street stall anyway. You expect to pay more if you've got something better than a plastic stool and table to sit on. The prices are 2,500 for hot black coffee, 3,000 for black coffee with ice, 3,500 for white coffee and 4,000 for white coffee with ice. We order one hot black, two hot whites. How much does she try to charge us? 30,000. She thinks we are having trouble understanding the bills she's holding up, so gets someone to explain to us in english. I explain in Vietnamese that we will not pay 30,000. We put down 12,000, because Connor and Steven are more generous than I would have been, and walk away.

We locate breakfast at a local stall and eat; blessedly, they charge us the correct price for street pho in most places, 10,000 each. After finding a guesthouse very early and leaving out bags there, we have another coffee. Again the fuckers try to charge me 10,000. Because I got a seat inside, and they speak english well, I'm able to agree on 5,000, without having to put the cash down and walk away.

I then want to go to Ha Giang, so I catch a moto. By approaching one directly, rather than waiting until they hail me with their inane "hello, moto" speil, and speaking only in Vietnamese, and telling them how much I will pay rather than asking how much, I get a reasonable fare straight away, 15,000. Had I asked how much, even in Vietnamese, they would have tried for 40 - 50k.

I arrive at the bus station, where touts try to get you onto their busses. Ignoring them, I make for the counters instead. Thankfully, they have the prices listed with the destination, Ha Giang, 60,000. The ticket lady doesn't seem to sell tickets though, she points me to a tout. Who promptly tries to sell one to me for 100,000. After a while following me, he tries 80,000. Eventually he just puts me on the bus. Turns out he's the cash collector on the bus too. I pay the sixty... but the sly smile he has lets me know something is up. I don't find out until later on though, when, while talking to a Vietnamese guy who speaks a little english, I discover the bus only goes to Thuy Quan, en route to Ha Giang, and I'll need to get another one then (if I can, that is). The fare should be lower for this - hence the sly smile. So not only has he ripped me off, he's put me on a slow bus and I'll need to be lucky to change busses. He refuses any refunds while on the bus, but once we reach the final stop and I get right in his face and indicate with vaguely threatening motions that he really should give me my money... which he eventually does, showing me a ticket that the real price is 36,000 - so he tried to grab an extra 24,000. I don't think I would have actually resorted to violence, but it's hard to tell, I'm running a little close to the line right now.

Next bus, I'm lucky. A cop jumps on, he speaks a little english, and soon we're fast friends. He tells me that he's very busy at the moment, but gives me contact details if I'm ever back in Vietnam, so that I can join him for some beer hoi or coffee. Anyhow, he tells me that the price for the rest is 50,000. It's probably not far off, so I pay, anyway. Total cost to Ha Giang, 86,000, instead of 60,000, and 9 hours, instead of 6, due to the longer bus routes taken to get there.

I have to pay 120,000 for a room in Ha Giang, can't find another hotel and the people at this one won't point me in the direction of any other. The room is poky, with a tiny bed, but has aircon and hot water. What I'm really paying for is the lift and the fully marbled foyer, which is very nice looking. Pity the rooms don't live up to the front.

They do arrange for a guide to come for me though, as I'd like to go to Dong Van and Meo Vac, apparently a beautiful trip. Anyway, he rolls in, we talk, he seems nice and has decent english. After agreeing where I wanted to go, he tells me 350,000 for the police permission and 300,000 for him, per day. This only covers his costs, not mine, so I need to buy food and accomodation separately. Total cost, I estimate, will probably be 1.1 or 1.2 million.

I point out that I know the police fee is in fact 150,000. Ah, yes, he says. But I have all these costs, you see, actually the extra 200,000 is for me. He doesn't actually say that last part, but I'm not sure what else he was planning to do. The costs, he tells me, are 150,000 for permit (true), 130,000 for gas (probably true, it's a long trip up hill. 20,000 will cover 120km on flat land, just, but I understand theres a lot of up and down in this, and the trip would be close to 400km), 140,000 for the motorbike he's renting (yeah, right, almost everyone has a moto here. People who work as guides definitely have a moto) and 100,000 for his hotel room (also probably true, given the rip off deal I'm getting here). So, total costs, 530k (if we accept the motorbike rental cost is real), profit for him 420k. The average vietnamese wage is appx. 30k per day, 60k for two, compared to 430k. He tells the that the 430k is cheap. I laugh. He refuses to negotiate at all. I resign myself to not seeing Dong Van and Meo Vac ever, as at this point it seems very unlikely I will bother to return to Vietnam.

Anyhow, it feels good to get that off my chest. Please realise that, in the north of Vietnam anyway, this is by no means a couple of atypical days, this is just standard fare. In the south, it is much better. If you're thinking of travelling to Vietnam, skip the north (or possibly do a lightning visit to Sapa, it's beautiful). Better yet, let the greedy fuckers do without your tourist dollars and go to Laos, where they'll really be appreciated.

Now, on the other hand, I've met some really cool locals here as well, Thuy Van in Dalat, Vien and his family, plus Chau and his family, as well as Lan, Mr Kim and the OK Adventure folks in Nha Trang and the folks at the Family Guesthouse in Sapa (hola Hue and family), as well as Tien and his family who were staying there also. Some of the landscape is incredible, and there's a heap to see and do. I know that all Vietnamese people aren't assholes, but the vast majority are so convinced that they should rip off tourists that they'd rather make no money than fail in their ripping off attempts.

In summary, I'm really looking forward to getting back to Thailand, where only the tuk tuk drivers will reliably try to rip you off.

Update: It's not all bad, see comments section :)